an inconvenient people

In a post-AWARE world, there is a growing wariness of groups who “push stridently for narrow interests, at the expense of other groups”. This was mentioned in the parliamentary reopening speech, albeit about political representation. The concern is that this would polarise and divide our society.

Stray management is such an interest. You just have to look at some of the posts in STOMP to see how it polarises. Cries for compassion for strays are met with cries for compassion for humans who are affected by them.

But can we really afford to contain polarising issues while we wait for social and cultural tides to change? Environment issues had the same bad rap a decade ago. They have since entered the mainstream simply because the problems have become too big to ignore.

And before them, liberties for minorities, women, the sick and the poor arrived after enormous hardship and suffering. All the while, the privileged cried injustice, instability, loss of traditional values, inconvenience.

And they are still crying over inconveniences posed not just by animals but two legs - migrant workers, aids victims, homosexuals, ex-convicts.

All narrow interests? Maybe. But the lessons are there to be learnt. People thought there was something defective or culpable about the people they dominated by numbers or by circumstances, justifying their actions and they were proved wrong. They thought they could dominate the land and they were dead wrong.

People a.k.a voters don’t want to be pushed into change but the world around them is changing. 10 years to irreversible environmental damage. 50 years to the end of sea fish. The threat of scarcity and the chaos that follows is real. All the more, the guiding principles henceforth must be to Save, to Conserve, to Share and to Free, regardless. They have to become as habitual as it is to brush our teeth and that leaves little room for pickiness.

Save. Conserve. Share. Free


We may be all about cats, others about dogs, marine life yet others about children of ex-convicts with aids. This is not because our interests are narrow but that they are realistic. Different concerns require different strategies and approaches within the constraints of available resources, but what binds them are those very objectives: to Save, to Conserve, and to Free.

To Share? Maybe we still don’t do it quite so well.

How then to hardwire Save, Conserve, Share and Free into the two legs?

The challengers to civil societies would be the first to tell you that these values are not new to them. They just don’t look past their in-group sensitivities when it comes to application. (All the more ironical when civil societies adopt the same attitude they are trying to fight.)

We all have it in us to do it

Then I pawed on this charming TED video on the discovery made by brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor the morning she suffered a stroke. Like a true scientist, she didn’t panic, she said Oh cool, now I can study my own brain from the inside out.



She already knew about the very different personalities of the left and right brain. Simply put, the right brain is all about the now and how our senses gather and distill information about our environment, while the left is all about me, how I process information about the past and present to project a future.

She hemorrhaged in the left hemisphere, felt her grasp of language slip away and fascinatingly with it, her sense of self. Her right brain took over and she floated on a sense of blissful wonder at not knowing where her body started and ended. She was at one with the world.

Arguably, environmentalists, humanitarians and animal people feel that kind of intense connection with their surroundings everyday. It’s just how their brains work and they didn’t get a stroke to stumble on it.

Could the contemporary emphasis on right brain development evolve a new generation more in tune with the ground they stand on and all there is on it? Can it turn the volume of the self-seeking left brain down to become a people less worried about where they started and where they end?

Until then, it must be inconvenient for those who find others saving and conserving things that threaten their health, safety, aspirations, livelihood and decorum. There are bigger inconveniences ahead when the water rises, food prices rocket and the fish disappear. If they are not part of the solution, would they be part of the chaos?

rule no. 5 - don’t balk at their poverty

it is a shabby place with little creature comforts but there is nothing to despise, to pity or to be ashamed of here.

this is the kind of simplicity and pride that ah ma’s own children, closer to our generation, cannot embrace and shrink away from. maybe in the name of progress, maybe of conformity but mostly of this insane crippling quality called ‘face’.

but ah ma soldiers on. and she is laughing in our powdered faces. her home, with just that modest injection of human connection, is now one that rings of laughter, playful antics, new friends and romance.

you really can’t take away anything from anyone who doesn’t want to give it.


ah ma with ah orh gia


heng heng & mi mi the dog


heng heng the self-appointed protector of the weak and the small


ah orh was found tied with 4 other cats to ah ma's gate last month. it hurt her but ah ma released them downstairs. clever ah orh would not budge and becomes one of the family


cheeky little ah orh gia



ah ma's favourites - mi mi the cat & ni ni


tua tau in retirement

animal family retirement plan

it’s pretty clear we will not reach solid ground in a while. the only certainty, in fact, is that we will be hit and we will lose – something – in this global financial meltdown. if we are lucky, it will be nothing more than our meticulously charted projection of a retirement with x dollars for a elderly-friendly flat, a tv, a fridge and a cat. but increasingly, it does look like we will lose a lot more than that.

if you have just tuned in, you are watching Tooty's self-help guide to navigating your uncertain future. lucky you. things are looking up already.

paramount rule number one in saving your future – save your money. don’t listen to the fools who are asking us to spend our way out of this rut. they put us there in the first place.

rule two and it cannot be said enough – don’t spend more than you earn. if you have broken rule two, don’t fret. we will let you know about our next flea market.

rule three – recycle. huh, you say? what’s that got to do with anything? when we are doddering on a walking cane, abandoned by our children, can’t afford healthcare, we don’t want to worry about the weather too. trust me.

rule four – if you lose money, let it go.

rule five – let go of your parents’ and politicians’ limiting definition of what a good life is. prosperous, comfortable, secure, enviable. with smug words and false sympathy, they shamed their peers with less and they made them hungry. and we are still doing it. stop.

rule six – if you lose your job, try and try again. and aren’t you glad you supported rule number five?

rule seven – plug in. don’t be left behind by technology. all the more, we need to connect to, learn from and find support in more people than it is physically possible to meet. let's make a date to play online mousehunt in about thirty years.

there you have it, the animal family retirement plan. thank you for watching.

Flea Mania, GN'R for the love of cats

See you tomorrow on 17th Jan Saturday at Sculpture Square for Flea Mania, a flea market bazaar for the benefit of stray cats in Singapore. It takes place from 10am to 5pm. Sculpture Square is on Middle Road, beside Fortune Centre. Besides having many things to buy, there will also be kittens for adoption. Come come!


*
with that out of the way, allow me to indulge…

you know what makes this cat purr like a freight train, fly like an aeroplane? a sprawling wilderness of blackboard scratching affliction that is a guns n’ roses song.

for sure, these tunes aren’t pretty. they don’t end quite soon enough. and not without some hard swallowing. instead, they travel on a riotous musical trajectory not unlike the wheels of a human mind wandering through its cerebral crevices towards a concluding thought. and it still wouldn’t be close to the last word on the subject.

most songs are a pronouncement of the artists’ state of mind - simplified, contained and ultimately resolved. presented as a final proclamation of happiness, sorrow, remorse or whatever. a gn’r song injects you right in there with the artist, swimming, drowning, grasping for clarity, suffering for, and relishing every revelation and indecision.

there is something to be said about the unmade-up mind which is often not more appreciated. they are minds still engaged. for those whose worldview is well and truly set, those conversations are essentially dead and dried up. and where does that leave us?

recently, the woman encountered a clash of cultures between a cat foster and potential adopter. the foster is dead set against the potential adopter because she has heard too many stories. it’s not right she admits, but would you gamble away the life of a kitten on ideals about tolerance and harmony?

the woman looks at the kitten in her hands and she wavers. ultimately, she gave the kitten to the adopter.


while those of us who are more informed and involved have reached certain conclusions about how best a cat should be cared for and protected, we still shouldn't take them as the last final words on the subject.

the work of a cat welfare volunteer is to engage and to help all kinds of people along to new understanding and new revelations. if we are set and hardened as bricks, what we might do is save that one kitten. how about the many that we cannot reach with just one hand on the left and one on the right?

*


white grey and black curly well and fully recovered!

glut and brutality

thanks ocha, for the link to internet users angry about cats on menu.


my heart sinks when i see my feline brothers and sisters caged like this to be bought, sold, weighed and finally eaten. then i remember our friends in poultry, cattle and other farms who suffer the same fate and i am not sure i have the right to complain.

but i say this for all of us who are lesser than the mighty men. i can understand if a starving person had to catch us to fill his family’s stomach. i can even understand if someone had no other livelihood but to farm us. because they are careful with what they have and they are grateful for what they are given.

for the rest of you, why are you so hungry? so hungry you have exchanged your natural abhorrence to glut and brutality that is shark’s fin soup, whale meat, foie gras, veal, fur coats and on and on, and for what? for that bloated esteem of living what is a good life. that is what it is. i hope you are happy.

bak bak and leafty under a tree

sounds like a title for a children's book. appropriate because for these two special friends, their story lives on. somewhere.

yes, Bak Bak has passed on and has since joined Leafty under the shade of a tree.

since his passing, our thoughts and feelings in the family waver from heartache at one moment and relief in another. we can’t believe he is gone but at the same time, it can be nothing but a timely flight from a body that refused to function a long time ago.

also, it leaves us not any more convicted for or against euthanasia. Bak Bak was a special case for whom the virus attacked the nerves such that he lost feeling in his leg and body. he continued to be same old Bak Bak from the waist up, wanting to be stroked, to be cuddled, to be loved.

the vet recommended that we put him down once he stopped eating but we couldn’t do it. even as he wasted away, he was still same old Bak Bak from the waist up. and then he drifted off into a coma and we thought it would be right to let him just pass away in his own time.

but it dragged. on and on for days as his body shrunk more and more. and doubt began to seep in. is he in pain? is he in a nightmarish septic delirium? is he at peace? who really knows?

on the last day, he woke up and he meowed for us. that was a shock. was he crying in pain? or was he trying for the last time to be same old Bak Bak, wanting to be stroked, to be cuddled, to be loved? but it dawned on us, most of all, he wanted to live.

he drifted back into a coma and was finally taken. we are at peace. he fought his fight in exactly the time it takes to say goodbye. as I write this, the tears are streaming but they are not sad tears. because we can smile at the legend he leaves behind. the same legend that precedes him where he is going.

but what kind of decision would we make for the next cat? we don’t know. the question of dying cannot be that easily solved. and in some odd way, we take comfort in that.

which are you?

if you are a person who has an uncommon feeling for the weak, the strays and the downtrodden and feel quite alone in your point of view, this piece of research might help shed some light on why when it seems so obvious that saving a life, ending suffering should be in the highest priority, others can look away citing what seems like watered down reasons for public good.

in a less elegant and scientific way, i, in my feline wisdom, have come up with my own observation about the different social attitudes that exist in Singapore. Jonathan Haidt made a very successful career studying the same phenomenon.

his Moral Foundations Theory looks at the way morality varies between cultures and identifies five fundamental moral values shared to a greater or lesser degree by different societies and individuals. these are
1. care for others, protecting them from harm
2. fairness, justice, treating others equally.
3. loyalty to your group, family, nation
4. respect for tradition and legitimate authority.
5. purity, avoiding disgusting things, foods, actions.

before you read on, rank these five moral values for yourself.

as the blogger and champion for this family who takes my cue mainly from the man and woman of this animal house, here’s how I rank
1. loyalty to your group, family, nation – this family is everything to me
2. respect for tradition and legitimate authority – man and woman, your wishes are my command, most of the time…
3. fairness, Justice, treating others equally – felines like fairness, no favouritisms please.
4. care for others, protecting them from harm – i do care but cats like our privacy and I am just respecting everyone else’s, yeah?
5. purity, avoiding disgusting things, foods, actions - I am pretty disgusting in my habits and lovin’ it.

this is how the woman ranks
1. care for others, protecting them from harm – non-negotiable
2. loyalty to your group, family, nation
3. fairness, Justice, treating others equally.
4. purity, avoiding disgusting things, foods, actions.
5. respect for tradition and legitimate authority.

by american definitions, that makes me a down turf conservative and the woman a flaming left-wing liberal. why I think Sarah Palin is a hot folksy harmless hockey mom and the woman thinks McCain is on drugs to put her so close to the steps of the white house.

interestingly, my ranking mirrors the man’s.

he will lay down everything for the welfare of the family while the woman will be out throwing herself at the world in hopes of saving it. there is no right and wrong, of course. conservative thinkers preserve much needed structure and order to society: state, family, traditions, institutions. liberal thinkers buck it when they see the wreckage trailing behind these big shiny buses.

in all fairness, you need the both for society to progress spiritually and intellectually yet still in keeping to a pace that remains hospitable and tidy to most. in Singapore, my conversative voice certainly rings much louder in the hawker centres, in shenton way and in parliament. but if we are to become the vibrant city that we keep hearing about, it bodes well that while we retain the societal structures that serve us well in keeping us safe, organised and sparkling, we give room to these eccentric liberals who would not let go of a life, be it an old cranky old woman, a stray mangy cat or a tired misused elephant, room to do what no one else will, which is to plug the gaps left gaping open by the sharp unseeing corners of societal building blocks.

at dinner

dinner conversation turns to the topic of the animal family today. it is quite usual then for friends to start wondering about whether it is right to lock up cats. today, they also thought about whether it is right to let Bak Bak continue to face his fate. this mind you, coming from a doctor.

as cat welfare volunteers, we know our course of action. but it does throw up some food for thought. what is more important? to be free or to be free from suffering? in our crazy world, these two values are in increasing opposition. in many instances, you can only fulfill one to the detriment of the other.

humans usually have a choice, to live with abandonment or to live cloistered. to plead doctors to save you at all cost or to give them an advanced medical directive. us cats do not have that kind of control over our fate so these well-meaning moral wranglings about being free or free from suffering hold no real meaning for us. ultimately, survival and pain is just as much a part of life as everything else.

so if you have to make choices for us, we only ask that you make them with the conviction of your love. if you must keep us in, do it because you can give us your best. if you must help us along to a better place, let it be because you done your best. if you must allow us to hold on to this precious bitter sweet life to the very end, let it never be in darkness, away from your presence, your thoughts and your prayer.

already, to have you make any decisions about us makes us the lucky ones, over the many whose fates are left to blow in the wind.



saved from AVA, our community queen, Frazzle, still rules the roost.

3am call; foster needed

our eccentric neighbour *Wendy* woke us up with a 3am call railing about how her cats are giving her so much stress she is going nuts. in her unkind 3am 'you woke me up for that?!' state, the woman felt that NUTS was the operative word here...

against our advice, Wendy took in one more cat over the 3 she already has in the flat causing one of her existing ones to picket in protest by spraying her furniture any chance it got. at first, Wendy was appealing for the woman to take her offending cat in in hopes that we can toilet train before returning to her. but the cat is not losing its toilet training by accident here. as long as the new cat is in the flat, she is going to be upset and act up.

the woman's advice for Wendy is to give up one of the cats and is actively looking for a loving and patient foster right now who can give this distressed cat a break.
_____________________

this and the case of the old hoarder lady really drive home the fact that more needs to be done for our old and alone. and not just to provide the basics like food, hygiene and shelter. their solitary lifestyles give them no release for their stress and grief and the result is an inward imploding state and a string of irrational bad decisions. gone on long enough, any well-meaning people who want to help can do little more than wade through their woolly self-seeking obstinacy to an uneasy friendship that is frustrating for both parties.

the question the woman would like to ask is, is there a way back from where Wendy and the old lady have wandered?

cleaning out the old hoarder lady's roach-infested cabinet the other day, the woman came across all her old photos, all smeared with roach droppings, and sees a life full of potential, with people, family and events. the old lady was anxious to remind the volunteers not to throw them away. so they are cleaned and stored, all these imprints of people that are no longer there. there was a full-colour laminated A4 photoshop-ed poster of the old lady and her 2 dogs which seemed recent. the old lady told her it was done by friends, but they no longer come to visit.

in the process of cleaning and painting the old lady's flat, the woman has seen both the soft and the cold mercenary side of the old lady, been exceedingly frustrated and been touched. the way forward is still fraught with uncertainties but the transformation of the flat has motivated the old lady to try in her own small ways to maintain it that way. she is also more willing to listen to the volunteers' suggestions and to let go of some of her animals. the woman hopes in her heart that this progress will not be undone by them becoming yet another collection of friends who no longer come to visit.


the woman wonders how many of us would turn out like this? the statistics on the solitary elderly and the mentally volatile are certainly against us.

the best counters the woman can think of are to build up our networks while we can, keep akin to this changing world, and break our hard habit for the material. in the old lady's cabinet are bags, jewelery, liquor, ginseng and clothes from all eras. they probably meant something at some point. now all they do is clog up her world and her mind with their irrelevance.

nation of tattle-tales

it’s a tough job being a good neighbour. your children should never be too loud or have too much fun, you as an example to them, should never have any fun at all throwing after-10 parties, enjoying loud music, indulging in insect-breeding plants, loving disease-carrying pets, have questionable lifestyles, questionable religious practices, non-singaporean-looking people stick around who speak all sorts of odd languages or show any interest in your neighbour as no one appreciates a busybody. (suck in breathe)

the best neighbours it seems, are working couples who don’t come home till late and have no time for hobbies, TV and sex.

if the town council officers think they are overwhelmed with complaints now, have they thought what it would be like when we do fulfill our national vision of a fertile vibrant diverse 6m-strong melting pot of cultures and lifestyles? If we are a nation of tattle-tales today, i shudder at the hubbub when our precious newborns and esteemed foreign friends take the pledge and become true blue Singaporeans tomorrow.

mr mah, you say you receive 530 complaints on cats every year from the residents. i hate to tell you but things are not likely to get better for either of us. 4.5m people = 530 complaints, 6m people = 706 complaints. 706 complaints, I can see, would be all the more reason you would say your stance is indeed the ideal one. the way i see it, we are looking at a long hard blistering road of discord between cat haters and cat lovers for as long as you are here and i am here. don’t forget, the numbers on my side will swell too.

and so the argument that the number of complaints that TCs receive is a good gauge of public sentiment and apt justification for curbs and restrictions is another fine example of rational reasoning that doesn’t do anyone any good. moreover, the attitude behind it frankly runs counter to the rhetoric about embracing a vibrant diverse gracious society.

for one thing, it tells people they have to be part of the majority or they are a problem. for another, it rewards a lot of people who simply do not make any effort to connect with neighbours who aren’t like them.

perhaps the way forward to resolving neighbourly angst is not to come up with more restricting laws and by-laws but to break this culture of complaints altogether, by helping to bridge differences and build relationships.

if it were deemed perfectly normal that some people keep cats as pets and care for strays, and perfectly understandable that some people fear and dislike cats, then everyone would have no choice but to find a middle ground. if we are to succeed as a model of multi-racial/faith/cultural graciousness to the rest of the world, finding middle ground is precisely what we all need to be good at.

proud to be a cat auntie

if you have been following the local cat blogs, you might have heard about a hoarding case of an old woman in a roach/maggot-infested 3-rm flat, which she shares with 40 unsterilised cats, 2 dogs and 2 tortoises.

it is rightly called a house of horrors, with black streaked walls, cobwebs, flying roaches, sick animals, dead animals, broken tiles over which animals defecate, everywhere. and in the midst of all these, a stubborn cranky suspicious forgotten old woman.

a couple of cat aunties discovered this and with understandable trepidation but unusual courage, took it upon themselves to help her. jamie and janet, i don't know what classes you did at school, for darn sure, everyone else should have gone to the same!

they started the ball rolling and inspired a lot of people along the way to get involved, the woman being one of them. Babywail's Shelter gives a complete rundown of the events surrounding this case, Lynn being one of the pioneer volunteers herself.

for sure, a case like this draws much attention and on some forums, even on Lynn's blog, there has been some contentious comments. some said that the old woman should be locked up, some said the animals should be taken away from her, some said that the volunteers are taking things into their own hands and the authorities should be involved, one even hoped the old lady will die soon.

our woman won't even be bothered to answer the person who posted that last comment.

her initial reaction from discovering this case was also that the old woman should be in a home as she seems to have a condition, obviously can't take care of herself, much less the animals. but upon meeting the old woman, she did an about turn.

this old woman is far from being non-functioning. and the bond between her and her animals is undeniable. she is frail for sure but lucid she still is, sometimes to the point of sharpness. she understands, but she is unable. she feels, but she is resigned. she doesn't have a mental problem. she is just trapped in the unforgiving state of being old and alone.

the final nail in the coffin of despair would be to take away the last of her freedoms and in particular, the little ones who love her so dearly when everyone else had gone away. she simply needs warm human bodies with friendly faces and willing hands, which in a world population of 6.684 billion, is in short supply.

so until the day we have a solution for the helpless that wouldn't conclusively break their human spirit, no easy decision can be made in a case like this and for better or worse, the authorities and the organisations have stayed distantly silent.

and so the day is saved by a swat team of cat aunties armed with face masks, shower caps, mops and cat traps. partial to both human and animals, they don't choose one over the other and save them all. they fundraised, they scrubbed, they sterilised, they befriended. their special ability? having ears close to the ground (often an excellent source of information), great powers of persuasion (try outtalking a cat auntie), speaks all the local dialects, networks with handy people like taxi drivers and contractors, garang, gung-ho, and most importantly, not afraid to get hands dirty.

it is our hope that when the conditions of the flat and the animals have stabilised and the old woman's trust in people regained, people will come back, family, social workers, befrienders. in the mean time, she has the formidable cat aunties and that is nothing to turn your nose up at.

can't get enough of calico?

how about her endless "why" questions?


"smally, why do you prefer the toilet sink than say, the kitchen sink?"


"chaplin, why doesn't smally have a tail?


"tuxedo, why do you have these furry things growing on your behind? don't think i have any. why?"

"slide, why does your 8mm template turn everything green?"


"woman, why are some plastics recyclable and some not?


"man, why don't they all like cats?

(click on slide for captions)

your results

pristine forest - i know a place like this even though i have not seen it for myself. i see it in my mind and i go there sometimes in a private moment of pure desire, to look at who i am truly meant to be.

the butterfly effect

i can't watch the episode of Planet Earth where the exhausted polar bear swim to find food. i feel sick.

while we are still deeply stuck into our insular debates about supermarket plastic bags, emission limits and green auto performance, a polar bear can't make the next ice ledge.

don't they say the flap of a butterfly's wings can cause a typhoon halfway around the world? its done more than flap this time, it's flown to exeter and taught scientists how to make better flat screen TVs.

(from Daily Mail)
there's no doubt people in Singapore and much of the world enjoy great privileges. arguably in our privileged minds, we have the excess idle capacity to ponder global warming, animal rights and our own excesses with time enough to watch Simon Cowell get emotional over african children on Idol Gives Back. all as the rest of the world struggle to see the next day. also because of that, many of us have seen the egocentric glitter dreams from the enterprise culture of our youth as what they are: hollow, hungry and deadly.

and now a billion chinese people want it. are you scared? i am petrified. they and other developing countries make a case against resisting green policies because so many of their people are deep in poverty. and then you read about indigenous people uprooted, overrun or infected by the need for currency, coal, oil and whatever. so these people get displaced and they argue we have no choice but to enlarge our chug chugging economic system so that we can feed these helpless people into it.

so why do we care about the environment and polar bears when there are so many hungry mouths to feed? because somewhere along the lines someone will put their finger on a humane socio-economic system that works so that people set back on their feet have an alternative to glass towers and non-detachable cell phones and the ones who choose to join the system will not go on to sell fake milk powder and spiked animal and fish feed with useless chemicals in the name of profit. because their dreams will be different. better.

stories of love

we curled round the sofa for the usual tuesday 10pm crime night but got stories of love instead. quite unexpectedly, it blew us all away. poignant, gritty, local and beautiful.

its a breath of fresh air after all that S2006 has come to stand for. overnight potted blooms, gift-wrapped trees, sparkling lobbies and a campaign to smile. even as a lower form of being on this, our, soil, i am starting to think we need all this effort because if cold hard efficiency is all we got, that's all we got.

stories of love warms my fuzzy belly. amidst this machinery of precision, great personal drama can thrive.

sorry delegates, you won't quite get to know who we really are. but razzle dazzle you we will certainly do, so don't leave that credit card at home.

Singapore's social attitudes

animal family visitors are always a boon. they don't know it yet but everyone who comes through our door that is not a contractor or a delivery person gets to be a part of my project on Singaporean social attitudes.

so my sample size is wacked and you can argue that the woman's friends are in no way an accurate representation of Singaporeans on a whole, but i assure you that nevertheless, the Tooty Rating^TM is compelling, deliciously exacting and comes in an assortment of designer colours.


on the whole, local attitudes towards social issues, especially my PET social issue, are appalling. i have been pretty lenient already and has had to count a gratuitous 2-second pat towards a love for animals and a general mention of recycling towards social awareness to keep the chart looking decent.

this all gives the woman cause to feel smug and superior because her scores are stirling examples to humankind.


and then it occurs to me to put them on another scale, one for responsibility to self and to family and the tables turn. you see many Singaporeans who work very hard and give their all to keep their families strong. who put their families ahead of aspirations and vanities, even values.

interrogating their backstories uncover many quiet personal accounts of courage and sacrifice that sometimes rival the most inspiring banner raising Save-The-World types. arguably, you need a good balance of taking care of your own and a level of macro-thinking. but how many people have that kind of genius and hours in a day.

all in all the woman is suitably humbled.

going nowhere fast

the woman has spent years running from normal. there's no running now that she will return to the corporate world of project meetings, progress reports and high heels tomorrow.

the house has been cleaned, wardrobe reorganised, ironing done, we have all been bathed and so she is ready to go. physically. mentally, she is still stuck in the world of furball on keyboard and pyjamas till 3, both of which she is going to miss like hell unless the company she is joining makes some serious changes to their hr policies.

and then it still wouldn't be enough.

she doesn't have a new wardrobe, just dusted off the old one because she doesn't know how long she will hold out there and because she doesn't want to play that retail for esteem game anymore. is this how women progress from sassy to 'auntie'? one day they look in the mirror and say "screw it". there's just other priorities now. and Tooty her personal trainer (dons spandex) says, there are far cheaper and more long term ways to looking decent, ladies. exercise, exfoliate and smile (keep telling yourself that).

but that fashion bubble has, for the woman, burst irreversibly. along with the gadget, luxury and spa bubbles. what consumes her now are music, books, food craves and us. and the next great game plan to escape normal.

but you can't reenter the real world without it changing you. no doubt the intensive work scope is going to devour her in the months ahead so who knows what's going to happen. last night, we had Cookie over so the woman can take her to the vet for sterilisation this morning. Bobby got jealous that Cookie slept on her pillow and peed on the bed again. we dread the day when these accidents becomes nothing more than a distasteful chore on a long to-do list. and her first reaction is not to run to Bobby to give him a hug for feeling neglected.

responsible living is tough

the woman's vegetarian friend in australia sends her a Save Babe postcard and it reminds her that she has a lot to learn about living a responsible cruelty-free life. she hasn't even begun to scrap the surface.

already, based on whatever she knows, which is little, the task at hand is daunting, almost impossible. no shark's fin, no veal, no fur, no pet trade, no IAMS is easy. but BAN

* all Procter & Gamble products P&G Kills
* factory-farmed pork products Save Babe
* KFC KFC Cruelty
* all fish Fishing Hurts and
* all meat Case Against Meat

altogether, and she's wondering if life is worth living without Paulaner Brauhaus pork knuckles, salmon sashimi and Hot & Spicy chicken.

it's not just about missing the food, she is also exasperated by the divide that already exists between her and a lot of the people around her. friends and family are thinking what's with the compulsive recycling and saving of cats. so pushing the envelope further by going vegetarian or something will probably invite more well-intentioned concern about the woman's mental faculties. their diagnosis: histrionic, obsessive-compulsive, bleeding heart, too much time on hands.

quite la. and arrested development, i might add. but in this anthropocentric world, animals can't be choosy about who our champions and avengers are. right now, she works for me so i much like to keep her that way.

but conversely, if she doesn't push the envelope on animal cruelty issues, the same people cry hypocrisy. bring up animal welfare issues to them only, they say care so much about cats, what about the hainanese chicken rice you are eating? chicken not life meh?

human, you really a lot of excuse not to think about things much. i'm a cat and i know there is nothing to life but a constant striving. you strive for your luxuries and comforts, let others strive for what's important to them. nobody is asking them to save the whole world tomorrow and die trying. all the animals ask is for people to start somewhere and keep on going. if you choose not to be involved, is ok, just shut the fuck up then!

but all that is secondary. as the woman is finding, the struggle to live responsibly remains a gruelling personal one. when confronted with a new piece of information, she has to decide how she can best act on it, or not, weighing all her human baggage of circumstance, practicality, resources and priorities with her conscience.

i hope for her sake and mine that she is of strong mettle to carry through her convictions.

(Photos from Save Babe & GoVeg)