Friday, January 23, 2009

animal family retirement plan

it’s pretty clear we will not reach solid ground in a while. the only certainty, in fact, is that we will be hit and we will lose – something – in this global financial meltdown. if we are lucky, it will be nothing more than our meticulously charted projection of a retirement with x dollars for a elderly-friendly flat, a tv, a fridge and a cat. but increasingly, it does look like we will lose a lot more than that.

if you have just tuned in, you are watching Tooty's self-help guide to navigating your uncertain future. lucky you. things are looking up already.

paramount rule number one in saving your future – save your money. don’t listen to the fools who are asking us to spend our way out of this rut. they put us there in the first place.

rule two and it cannot be said enough – don’t spend more than you earn. if you have broken rule two, don’t fret. we will let you know about our next flea market.

rule three – recycle. huh, you say? what’s that got to do with anything? when we are doddering on a walking cane, abandoned by our children, can’t afford healthcare, we don’t want to worry about the weather too. trust me.

rule four – if you lose money, let it go.

rule five – let go of your parents’ and politicians’ limiting definition of what a good life is. prosperous, comfortable, secure, enviable. with smug words and false sympathy, they shamed their peers with less and they made them hungry. and we are still doing it. stop.

rule six – if you lose your job, try and try again. and aren’t you glad you supported rule number five?

rule seven – plug in. don’t be left behind by technology. all the more, we need to connect to, learn from and find support in more people than it is physically possible to meet. let's make a date to play online mousehunt in about thirty years.

there you have it, the animal family retirement plan. thank you for watching.


Missbossy said...

Great advice. To #2 I'd add 2b: "Never get into debt." They give away credit cards like candy here and so many people get under massive mortgages. Many end up with negative equity and the risk of losing their homes every time a property bubble bursts.

animalfamily said...

wise words. every time a telemarketer calls me up about credit lines and cards, i wanna go into my little spiel but it's not their fault, they are making a very tough living. so i will save my spiel for their slick fat bosses.

Everycat said...

Wise advice, thank you Tooty.

Wishing you all a Happy Lunar New Year, may the Ox bring better lives to all living things

Whicky Wuudler


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